Christmas Eve 2009

Okay, so the above photo is from 12/21, not Christmas Eve, but I added it because of the questions about Jonah's eyes...They are definitely blue now, but they only show up that way in outdoor light. Inside, they are so dark that they still look brown.



This was my first Christmas ever away from my family, and the week had been bittersweet...Good times with friends, but constant thoughts of home and family members arriving and the warmth and laughter and lively background noise that have always been part of our family holidays. This year, we would be just four - not 15, like the years of my childhood, or 11, like recent years.
But we had a beautiful snowstorm on the 23rd that stretched into Christmas Eve and covered the city in a white glow. Christmas lights everywhere - on Victorian houses, stores, city landmarks - reflected in the snow and lit up the night. It looked like a postcard Christmas, and that made it a little easier. And we didn't have to travel through that snow, or stay up all night before a flight packing and finishing presents, and we got to enjoy our own tree on Christmas morning. Also, Isaac's main present from Santa wouldn't have traveled well. In the end, we had a beautiful Christmas here, just the four of us.
On Christmas Eve, I made apple pie while Isaac napped, and then we got him up early so we could go to church. We have tried so many churches, and we finally found one that we both loved not long before Jonah was born. We'd only been once, but it was nice not to wonder where we would go for a Christmas Eve service. This church had a service especially for families at 5pm, so we dressed up a little and headed to the beautiful stone building from the 1880's, on a corner of downtown. The snow had stopped, and a frigid wind had picked up, so I wrapped blankets around Jonah, and we hurried in a few minutes late. Inside was all warmth and light, pews packed with families, babies everywhere. The service was beautiful, and even Isaac (who had broken the silence of our last service there with "Go home. Isaac want go home.") seemed to enjoy it. He sat in my lap for much of it and gave me hugs and kiss after kiss. We all received candles as we entered, and after the sermon, they turned the lights down low, and we passed the flame down the rows, lighting our candles one by one. Then we sang Silent Night in a beautiful scene of old wood and flickering light. Isaac seemed mesmerized.

I had brought the camera to church so we could get a rare family shot. Isaac refused to look at the camera, so the photo above is what we got. Jonah is yawning - deceiving, as I put him (unsuccessfully) to bed three times that night and finally just let him fall asleep in the sling and stay there until I went to bed.

Below, we tried again at home to get a picture of Isaac - same result.


In my family, it's tradition that the children get to pick one present to open on Christmas Eve. It's fun for many reasons, but we especially like it now because it helps spread out the presents so the next morning is a little less overwhelming. We always did it after dinner, but this time it made more sense for Isaac to open a toy before dinner so he'd be entertained while we cooked and drank wine. With the happy distraction of a present from Deeda and Babop in his hands, he finally looked at me, just long enough to click the shutter.



Dinner: French goat cheese, a wonderful Bordeaux, tenderloin and roasted root veggies (beets, potatoes and carrots, all grown at our CSA or in our backyard).
It was not exactly relaxing (Isaac just picking at his dinner and needing help with many things; Jonah finally sleeping in the sling so I had to eat right-handed), but it was candlelit, yummy, and wonderful. We were all together in our warm house with the excitement of the morning to come. Adam and I were the most excited of all.

Once we put Isaac to bed, with Jonah snuggled peacefully against my chest, Adam and I got to finish our wine and eat my homemade apple pie together in the candlelit dining room before Santa arrived. Then we could relax.



A close-up of my first-ever apple pie. I was proud.

Dec 13 - Breakfast, tree and ice cream

Last Sunday, we remembered why we don't go to Snooze anymore. The food is so good, but we arrived before 10 and still had to wait half an hour. Isaac was mostly patient, but it took a lot of entertaining from Adam, and he still punctuated the background chatter with calls: "Your fo-od!"



At home, I was hoping to get some pictures of the boys together. It was going fine until I got a little too absorbed in trying to get a good shot.





The picture below was right before Jonah rolled off the sofa...

I managed to catch him, but he still didn't like it. Isaac had relaxed his arms too much. I learned my lesson.



Some year we hope to go cut down a tree in the mountains, but this year we got our tree the easy way - right in the neighborhood, with the extra bonus of ice cream. Adam and Isaac drove down, and I met them there with Jonah in the stroller.



Isaac loved my vanilla milkshake.







And Adam's mint oreo wasn't bad either.







Christmas trees and ice cream...a surprisingly nice combination. Especially on a crisp December day when the Colorado sun makes it just warm enough to enjoy the patio.

Videos and a few more Jonah pics

Nov 30. Age 2 months and 3 days.



The videos may get a little slow, but they are a good glimpse of Jonah-world for his faraway fans.

Nov 28 - Isaac taking care of his brother.


Dec 7 - Some Jonah-smiles.

Nov 27 - Jonah

I was starting to think he didn't know who I was and didn't care either. He stared at the fan or the wall when I talked to him and didn't seem to react when I entered the room. Unless he was hungry, and then he cried as soon as I picked him up. I wondered why, at 7 weeks, he wasn't looking us in the eye more and wasn't smiling much besides a passing look of humor maybe twice a day.

I should have had more faith. Like everything else Jonah does, he wants to do it his own way, in his own time (nursing and sleeping, for instance).

One morning I was telling Adam my frustrations - that of course everything I'd been through and was doing for Jonah was worth it, but I was still waiting for the part that makes it really worth it: being MAMA. The one who makes him light up, the one who soothes him when he's sad, the one he loves like no other. The smiles, staring me in the face, watching me as I move around the room. I wanted my baby to be in love with me.

As we talked, we realized that we'd been giving Jonah minimal social interaction in order to protect Isaac's feelings. Yes, I'd nursed him constantly in the early months, I was always holding him, we talked to him all day, but we hadn't wanted Isaac to see us fawning over another child. We didn't stare into his eyes and tell him how beautiful and perfect he was; we didn't coo at him or play with him without a constant worry that Isaac was feeling left out or jealous.

But every baby deserves to be fawned over. Every baby deserves that goofy, grinning, baby-talking, mama-in-love kind of attention that is so easy to give when there is only one child. And from what I understand, babies who get less social interaction don't smile as early. So we changed things. Isaac would have to adjust; we'd been ignoring our perfect number two a little bit.

During that conversation, I was holding Jonah, who was innocently staring at the wall. Adam started playing with him, giving his full attention, being silly, even though Isaac was within earshot. And Jonah looked up at him and smiled. And smiled more, and more. It was a series of big, toothless, whole-face smiles, eyes directed straight at Adam's face. I felt a little better.

From then on, we felt free to make a fuss over Jonah, the way we should have done all along. The first time Isaac saw me leaning over him, mimicking his sounds, blocking out all else but those big blue eyes staring into mine, he looked mad. Resentful. But he got used to it. And Jonah...well, it could have been a coincidence - maybe he just hadn't been ready yet - but after that conversation with Adam, and the changes we made, he started smiling all the time. Huge smiles, and beautiful coos to go with them.

Now his eyes follow me around the room. He stares at me with big eyes and a slight smile when I talk to him, he watches my mouth move like he's trying to learn how it all works, and he even initiates conversation by looking right at one of us and sending a big smile and a few words in Jonah-language our way.

I had nothing to worry about. He loves me. He loves all of us. And Isaac will be fine.


The pictures below are just from my cell phone, but they are still pretty cute.

Nov 26 - Thanksgiving!

We didn't want to travel with such a little baby, so we stayed home to celebrate this year. Isaac's good buddy Oliver and his parents were also here without family, so we split the cooking and the turkey and had a wonderful Thanksgiving here at our house.

These are a few pictures of Jonah from the morning. Above is one of his talking faces. Wish I could add sound, and you'd hear the sweetest little coos - soft and loud, up and down, all while looking at me with a face that seems to alternately seek approval ("Do you like this one? What about this?") and smile enormously at the funny things he is saying. We've been having long conversations for a few weeks now - I talk, he answers, eye to eye, his legs folding and unfolding in the air, arms conducting his imaginary orchestra. Below, a little smile...I was still working on capturing this on camera. As soon as he sees a camera, he just wants to stare at it, and he stops talking...



I'd made sweet potatoes and rolls ahead of time, and I finished the sausage-cornbread-apple dressing in the morning. Adam's jobs were to cook the turkey and make mashed potatoes and gravy. We used a huge pot of our own backyard potatoes and as many CSA veggies as we could, so it really was a harvest festival. Megan brought cheeses and veggies for appetizers, salad, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, apple pie, chocolate cream pie, and ice cream - all so yummy and homemade, including the ice cream. We all contributed wine, and it was an amazing candlelight feast in our house with good friends - a wonderful night.



Below, Isaac and Ollie working on their toasting skills.


I had fun arranging our CSA veggies to make a centerpiece of sorts. I'd envisioned candles dispersed throughout the pumpkins and gourds, but in the end I didn't have that many candles...But I took a picture anyway.


And rolls, fresh from the oven...


The boys had played hard and were ready to eat.


After-dinner mischief.

Nov 25 - Playgroup at the Fire Station!

So maybe it was a little dorky of me, but I was almost as excited about this playgroup as Isaac was, and I dressed the boys accordingly: a fire truck onesie and matching hoody for Jonah and a fireman hat and monkey-in-fire-hat shirt for Isaac. The big guy was thrilled to wear his hat to playgroup, and the truck was his idea - he insisted on bringing it into the fire station.
I must say, Isaac was cute as could be, hesitantly walking into the station with his golden curls, fire hat on sideways, clutching his fire truck under his arm and the biggest eyes you could imagine. Every day, if he's not a worker or a farmer, Isaac is a fireman. He rides his fire truck, makes fire truck parking lots, sprays imaginary water on imaginary smoke, and wears his hat all over the house. If you are sitting at his level, he'll walk over to you with great purpose, put his hand on your knee, look you in the eye, and say emphatically: "You fireman." And by "you," he of course means "I."




Max's stay-at-home dad gets the prize for the coolest dad of playgroup, as this was his idea. We had an appointment at the fire station! And though we missed the tour at the beginning (Jonah had to eat again), Isaac got to "drive" a real fire truck, touch all the equipment inside, and watch an obliging fireman put on all his gear. You can see him watching that process in the photo below - not the best, since I only had my cell phone. Too bad I couldn't get any faces because I think half the kids were terrified of the man who suddenly became a monster in a black suit and a full head mask with breathing tube snaking out of it!



Thanks to Kari and Shawn for all the good pictures in this post, which they kindly took for me since my camera was without a battery!



In all these pictures, Isaac's thought cloud would say: Don't take my fire truck!



When it was time to go, we played outside for a few minutes and then walked to a nearby playground with friends. It was quite cold, but I don't think Isaac noticed.



"You climbing a MOUN-tain!"